Letting go isn’t always as easy as the words imply.
I remember the first few times I got a massage. The massage therapist would encourage me to relax even as I pressed myself into the table. “Just let go,” she said. Meanwhile I laid there wondering exactly how I was to let go. Just when I thought I was getting it, she would say, “Try to relax.” But the more I tried, the more tense I became.
I’ve thought of that picture many times as I was trying to relax and let go of something I loved or thought important. It seemed like it should be so simple. So basic. Yet I’ve come to learn that letting go isn’t about doing something, but about not doing something. Letting go is about giving up control.
Letting go is about giving up control. #emptynest #lettinggo Click To Tweet
As empty nesters, there seems to be a lot of letting go.
- Kids
- Routines
- Activities
- Expectations
It can seem a bit overwhelming. There may be a temptation to try and hold on to everything just to make life slow down a bit. This frantic response only puts everyone in a painful limbo as life limps forward. As an empty nester for over seven years I’ve come to realize some areas of life continue on, while many new treasures are for this season alone. For your own health and the health of your family, it’s vital to recognize what to hold on to, what to release, and what to embrace for the first time.
Letting go means I need to stop doing something. #emptynest Click To Tweet
6 Tips to Letting Go
- Take a deep breath.
When I was on that massage table, as long as I held my breath I held my ground. Subconsciously I was trying to keep control of the situation. Taking a deep breath released my initial tension and helped me start letting go both mentally and physically.
- Step back.
You know those dreams where you’re outside of your body, watching yourself do something? Sometimes that’s what’s needed, so to speak. Step back from yourself and your circumstances and look at the whole picture. A fear of losing something or someone is often at the center of a firm grasp. Look for threads that connect you to the person or thing you won’t release. Recognize which ones are healthy and which ones are sucking the life from you and need to be cut.
- Listen.
Yes, listen to those around you. They might see keys to your freedom that you’ve missed. But mostly, give plenty of space for the Holy Spirit to speak. He always reveals details hidden in the heart and gives wisdom and strength to walk through the transition.
- Open wide.
Be open to both the letting go and the receiving of something new. When you close your heart or hand, you shut the door for an expanded life.
- Set your gaze.
To move forward, you must focus on what’s in front of you. Keeping your eyes on the goal allows relationships and circumstances to grow and change. While looking back keeps you and others in a painful limbo, setting your gaze forward brings inspiration and joy.
- Trust.
The God who knows you wholly is faithful. He will never abuse your vulnerability. Lean into Him and He will unfold your future a step at a time.
If you’re wondering who you’ll be after you let go…
Pop on over to my Videos page to watch the series: Who Am I Now, God? See you there!
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