“I am torn between the two:
I desire to depart and be with Christ,
which is better by far;
but it is more necessary for you
that I remain in the body.”
Sometimes there are no words. Only silence.
Silent pain. Silent disbelief. Silent horror. Silent prayer.
My husband, Matt, and I don’t watch TV so I see far less news and entertainment than most, but often what I see or hear is enough to make me pause. How does the earth hold up under the agony and torment of so many? How can billions of people do to themselves and each other what they do? The degree of manipulation, selfishness, and suffering is staggering.
There have been days when my soul was overwhelmed and my heart echoed Paul’s words, I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far. Then I hear a faint calling, deep to deep, and I am captured again. Through the dark smoke and shadows of this world a simple desire rises from my chest:
I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the LORD…” Psalm 84:2
My longing is not so much to leave this world as to step back in the midst and enter into His peace, His presence, His wisdom. I long to hear His thoughts, gain His perspective, and feel His touch. I long to live from His Kingdom not the kingdoms of this world. And in that, to release it wherever I go.
At times we forget: Heaven unleashed its Kingdom on earth the day Jesus rose from the grave.
- Light overcame darkness
- Life defeated death.
- Joy overruled mourning.
- A Rock stood firm through the storm.
We’re not here just to change policies or make laws or argue opinions.We are here for a far greater purpose.
- To release hope.
- To speak truth.
- To love beyond ourselves.
As children of the King, we are called to bring His Kingdom to a hurting world. A hurting neighbor. A hurting soul. We are here to see the dead come to Life.But we must realize: The Kingdom of Heaven doesn’t increase by accident or mere activity. The flow of Kingdom Life through you is directly related to the depth and purity of your relationship with the King, Jesus.
The Holy Spirit spoke a word of direction in a recent journal entry:
Do not be afraid or discouraged. I will strengthen you Myself. You are learning to overcome evil with good. You are being trained as a warrior of Love (See Romans 12:21).
Take heed, lest you stumble. Keep your focus on Me, not the surroundings. To overcome you must be focused and connected to the Overcomer.”
Don’t you love it when the Holy Spirit brings it back to the bottom line. I have nothing to give of lasting value, save Him. I cannot hope to bring hope without His grace pouring through me. I cannot love without the King of love renewing my mind and changing me into His image. And yet, as I set my gaze upon Him, He will strengthen me to overcome evil with good.
Father, fill me again with Your love. Fill and consume me with Your Spirit. Live through me that others may know the beauty and power of Your Son. That others may find the freedom and healing their souls cry out for. You are worthy. You are worthy.